2005 Texas Mock Trial Quotes
[After the team receives an email from another coach telling them they will do well at regionals, Jim replies in an email]
Jim: If I contribute only one thing as a coach this month, let it be this: never forget the important lessons perfectly presented in Rocky III. Do not get comfortable with delusions of inevitable success. That overconfidence only softens your midsection. Victory (as Rocky learned in the all out pummeling from Clubber Lane in the first part of this masterful film) is never assured, no matter how good you think you are or ought to be. To win, in the words of Apollo Creed, you have to be hungry. You must . . . (dramatic pause) . . . have the eye of the tiger. As a side note, there is one thing not to take from Rocky III. That is: once you have overcome seemingly impossible odds to shake free from the demons of your past losses, do not -- and I repeat do not -- engage in a homoerotic tango on the beach with your coach, particularly if you are wearing uncomfortably tight shorts. I can't speak for Jamal, but I'll have none of this.
[After not hearing from her for over two years]
Tom: What have you been up to? You should totally come visit us. We're practicing all day Sunday.
Lyndzee: I live in Chicago now. Maybe I could make it if I leave now.
Stephen: Kaplan is totally and S&M Lesbian!
Jamal: I really like your opening, Stephen. The biggest thing you need to work on is your face.
[After being schooled in an objection fight.]
Stephen: I don't wanna object anymore.
Robyn: You know, the more we get into red-state-land, the more people look like Joel...
[Paying for Gas]
Utsav: The card reader is broken so they are trying to scan it again. Sorry it's taking so long.
Micheal: For the love of god, I'll pay with a pound of flesh closest to my heart if we can just leave!
Tom: You realize we might have to leave the breakfast early to make practice, right?
Arpan: But what if we miss the breakfast??!
Tom: Well the point of the thing was to see Tori, not eat breakfast
Arpan: But you can't eat Tori!
Tom: Says you.
Stephen: He saw porn, but downloaded golf!
Tom: Can't you download both?
Jim: Hole in one!
[Arpan, without picking up the phone, when ringing]
Arpan: Yeah, what's up?
[Realizing he didn't pick up the phone]
Arpan: Oh, I forgot to pick up the phone